I was on twitter this morning and started to rant, so I stopped myself and decided to make a post. It's funny, cause I almost use twitter as a journal.. not so much of tweeting things that are going on in my life. But from a sense of expressing beliefs that others can pick and choose to listen to, or not.
I just realized that I haven't lived at home for the past five years.. neither have I been in the same state as my family. Growing up in Omaha, I always wanted to be in the big city. So once I got to college, I always went home with friends on holidays and weekends. We would go to Chicago a lot! And then during basketball season, there was no chance of me going home much, because of travel and practice. Even after I graduated undergrad, I didn't even go home. I was in NY for the summer, went to Maryland for a little over 3 months after that, and then went to Chicago for another 3 months. I have now lived in NYC since mid January.
I always had everything I needed growing up. But seeing my parents struggle from week to week did something to my psyche. Don't get me wrong, I've had the best times with my family! Money or no money.. we have always been close and never let money determine our happiness. But as a kid, you don't want to see your parents struggle.
I have been working extremely hard mastering my craft. Trying to learn and push myself to be more creative. Working hard to change things for my family. Working hard to break cycles in my culture. A lot of times, I get so caught up in working, and not wanting to waste time, that I don't really slow down to just enjoy.. but I feel like I cant enjoy. I know people are counting on me, i know i have lives to touch.. kids to save. I want to accomplish things that are out of this world!! How can I do that, and not work all the time?
How do you find that balance... family, friends, life, school, love, reading, creating, changing, challenging, enjoying...
Well.. right now, i only have one speed.
I love you momma!
I just realized that I haven't lived at home for the past five years.. neither have I been in the same state as my family. Growing up in Omaha, I always wanted to be in the big city. So once I got to college, I always went home with friends on holidays and weekends. We would go to Chicago a lot! And then during basketball season, there was no chance of me going home much, because of travel and practice. Even after I graduated undergrad, I didn't even go home. I was in NY for the summer, went to Maryland for a little over 3 months after that, and then went to Chicago for another 3 months. I have now lived in NYC since mid January.
I always had everything I needed growing up. But seeing my parents struggle from week to week did something to my psyche. Don't get me wrong, I've had the best times with my family! Money or no money.. we have always been close and never let money determine our happiness. But as a kid, you don't want to see your parents struggle.
I have been working extremely hard mastering my craft. Trying to learn and push myself to be more creative. Working hard to change things for my family. Working hard to break cycles in my culture. A lot of times, I get so caught up in working, and not wanting to waste time, that I don't really slow down to just enjoy.. but I feel like I cant enjoy. I know people are counting on me, i know i have lives to touch.. kids to save. I want to accomplish things that are out of this world!! How can I do that, and not work all the time?
How do you find that balance... family, friends, life, school, love, reading, creating, changing, challenging, enjoying...
Well.. right now, i only have one speed.
I love you momma!
8 comments:
Well written brother. I can relate to much of what you said and just know that all of your hard work will indeed pay off. *Telling myself the same*
CS
nicely expressed. your creative work shows justice to your work ethic. continue to push forward. God will provide the balance. you're an amazingly different breed of inspiration.
keep writing. keep capturing. keep living.
It is tough to balance work and life...without letting work simply become your life...unless your work is your passion and not just corp America
Well versed.
Well said. Love what you said about "breaking cycles in my culture". I can personally relate. I recently ran across your page through a friend, and I've been a fan since. I appreciate the simplicity of your photos, but your attention to detail is extremely striking. Keep up the great work!
Best Regards,
Rei Fernandez
www.thecmngrnds.com
I’m glad I found your blog. You are very talented. Turns out I’ve tumbled many of your pics without even knowing it.
This post here resonated with me.
I grew up with-not-too much in a neighborhood that was not-too-nice. Somewhere along the line I made up my mind that I would do things different with my life. I pushed. I worked. I strived. I attained. At one point I looked back (I sound old…33 is still kinda’ young no)? Anyway, I looked back and peeped how far I’d come. I even tried to figure out why I had ‘gotten out’ and so many of the cats that I grew up with never did. There is a sense of pride to be found when you get to that point. For sure there is. Still though…I’m learning now that all of that pushing, working, striving, and attaining is not sustainable without this balance that you’re seeking.
By ‘not sustainable’ I mean you snap. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But eventually.
That balance is the most important thing in life brother. Doing well for yourself and your fam is one half of the mission. Feeding that thing inside of you that allows you to slow things down and enjoy the ‘moments’ is the other half.
Keep Shinin’ brother…people are depending on your light.
One love.
Q
You all don't understand how much your comments mean! The support is very much appreciated. This whole process is beautiful.. Together with soul we puch on!!
Yours words are really the greatest thing to keep me pushing. Im in my last week of school and I've been ready to start my break early. Your words really keep me going. I just remember how you say "while they sleep we work." Its really been helping me get through these past couple of weeks. I know you'll find a balance between work and play. Just remember you need to be able to enjoy yourself amd you only have this life to live.
-Kirstie
GREAT post! I follow your blog and word with pleasure...
NICE pictures ;-)
http://dablacksjp.blogspot.com/
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