Meaning

I'm on the metro north right now heading to Yonkers to meet with Marcus & Toya from The Strivers Row. He has some video equipment I'm going to play with, as well as studio lights.  I'm not by any means a studio photographer...but it may be cool to do portraits and stuff. 

I'm also shooting this wonderful artist I met a couple weeks ago. I'm featuring her in my 'Passion Project'. She's a painter and just graduated from Columbia. Should be pretty cool. 

This weekend I realized that I'm not truly happy unless I'm working. Working on my craft, brainstorming creative ideas, studying videography, or at least  talking with other artist. I don't like being taken out of my world and put in bullshit conversations, talking about politics, or people that are content in their systems. None of that shit has soul. None of it has meaning. None of it is helping my people. 

My purpose here is to impact culture. Continue to love and create as an artist. And break systems that will give my people hope! 

Btw: I don't think I want to have kinds, this baby just made everybody on the train switch to the next one... Even me! Haha. 

Lovely Faces

So I was thinking about how I really want to document my generation. I want to be able to look back 5 years from now, 10  years from now.. and be able to view some of the culture that I live in. I started a project called "Lovely Faces". What I am doing is documenting all the Lovely Faces of people I meet and create with.. should be pretty cool and fun..

Well, here is what I have so far..

 View the rest here http://www.abstractelements.com/lovely-faces

Timing

I apologize if my posts are repetitive, if my grammar is incorrect, or the spelling is horrible. I just write how I am feeling at the moment. I don’t really read over anything…I just want to keep expressing and recording this process.

As I lay on my air mattress, the time is pushing 4am Friday morning…

I’m realizing that I don’t really have a social life. I think it’s because of multiple reasons.. One, I don’t want anyone to outwork me…period! Two, times are pretty hard financially and I can’t afford to put myself in a bind. And three, well…I just feel like there is a time and place for everything.

I love to hang out with friends and just enjoy time with people. But when you feel like you have so much to do, its hard to give up that time … Even when I do hang out, I’m always thinking about my work. I’m always looking at interactions, inspirations and just ways to keep pushing myself. I think that’s because my work is who I am .. and I don’t know how to separate any of it.

It’s hard, because a lot of people in my life don't understand.

I think there are three types of people in this world…

There are people who have no desire. These are people who just live life day to day, and don’t really push their self. They accept their status quo and don’t strive for change.

There are people who have desire, but that is it. These people may want better, but are too afraid to go after and do/be better. Or maybe just have obstacles in front of them from doing better. But to have JUST desire is not enough.

Lastly, there are people that go after anything and everything that they want. Nothing will stop them! They will work hard, they will push through, and they will stay standing in storm!!

There are so many people in this world, so many different problems, and so many things that could be better. If I could, I would change it all… straight up world peace! Lol, but hey.. I guess that would kill the journey.

The universe put us all here for a reason.. and I’d be damn if I didn’t reach my full potential! I know the goodness in life is for us that continue to believe.. 

No Transitions

I was on twitter this morning and started to rant, so I stopped myself and decided to make a post. It's funny, cause I almost use twitter as a journal.. not so much of tweeting things that are going on in my life. But from a sense of expressing beliefs that others can pick and choose to listen to, or not.

I just realized that I haven't lived at home for the past five years.. neither have I been in the same state as my family. Growing up in Omaha, I always wanted to be in the big city. So once I got to college, I always went home with friends on holidays and weekends. We would go to Chicago a lot! And then during basketball season, there was no chance of me going home much, because of travel and practice. Even after I graduated undergrad, I didn't even go home. I was in NY for the summer, went to Maryland for a little over 3 months after that, and then went to Chicago for another 3 months. I have now lived in NYC since mid January.

I always had everything I needed growing up. But seeing my parents struggle from week to week did something to my psyche. Don't get me wrong, I've had the best times with my family! Money or no money.. we have always been close and never let money determine our happiness. But as a kid, you don't want to see your parents struggle.

I have been working extremely hard mastering my craft. Trying to learn and push myself to be more creative. Working hard to change things for my family. Working hard to break cycles in my culture. A lot of times, I get so caught up in working, and not wanting to waste time, that I don't really slow down to just enjoy.. but I feel like I cant enjoy. I know people are counting on me, i know i have lives to touch.. kids to save. I want to accomplish things that are out of this world!! How can I do that, and not work all the time?

How do you find that balance... family, friends, life, school, love, reading, creating, changing, challenging, enjoying...

Well.. right now, i only have one speed.

I love you momma!